Hello, my friends,
I’m sorry for the extended silence. It’s become harder to write these posts. As I get further into the story, there are more things I want to say, more details to share. Like all people, as I got older, my life became more complex, as has the story I want to tell.
So please forgive me if it takes longer between posts now.
Discovering Anabaptism
At the end of my last post, I talked about my discovery of Anabaptist theology. At that time, it was just an interest, not yet a deep understanding. I still had a long journey ahead before I left the Baptist church and found a tradition that aligned more closely with what I believed.
But before any of that could happen, there were a few things that needed to take place.
College Begins
Summer 2007. I had just completed high school and was stepping into the next chapter of my life: college.
She was there my first day.
I was immediately drawn to the girl with blonde, curly hair, glasses, and braces. She was cute in an innocent, authentic way. She hadn’t told me yet, but something about her told me she’d probably grown up on a farm.
Talking to girls had never been difficult for me, but expressing my real feelings? That was harder.
I don’t remember much about our first meeting, but I do remember movie night during our first week at school. We sat next to each other and talked through the entire film. At one point, she handed me her blue, flat phone and said I could put my number in it–if I wanted.
I didn’t know it then, but Rachel was going to become my life partner, the one who’d walk beside me through struggles with kindness and grace.
A Relationship Without Touch
Our college didn’t allow dating for first-year students. So our early relationship was built on group hangouts, texting, shared meals, and chapel visits.
One day, I asked Rachel to take a walk with me down by a pond near our school.
“I have to be honest with you. I like you,” I said, as the autumn sun set behind the fountain.
“OK,” she replied.
It wasn’t quite what I expected. So I followed up:
“So… can I assume you like me too?”
“You could say that,” she said.
Again—not exactly what I was hoping for. But by then, I had learned that was as close to a “yes” as I was going to get.
No, we didn’t kiss. We didn’t even hold hands. Physical contact was strictly forbidden at our school—and we were good Baptist kids. In a way, that was a blessing. It let us build our relationship on emotional and spiritual connection. But as a young man, it wasn’t always easy.
Cracks in the Foundation
My next two years were what you’d expect for a Baptist college student: classes, church, papers, friends, and a girlfriend. I was immersed in Baptist theology, and instead of making me a stronger fundamentalist, it had the opposite effect.
I began to see what I felt were inconsistencies in the teachings.
I was already a confirmed pacifist by this point. Shane Claiborne and Greg Boyd had helped shape my convictions. I believed Jesus meant it when He said, “turn the other cheek” and “bless them that curse you.”
But it felt like the very people who insisted on taking Genesis literally were more than willing to spiritualize Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount.
That contradiction bothered me. Deeply.
A Quiet Crisis
I found myself in a quiet crisis of faith.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I had asked Jesus to save me more times than I could count. But I struggled with doubts about Scripture, about doctrine, and about the answers I was being given. None of it felt satisfying.
By the middle of my second year in college, I was convinced I must be the only one feeling this way.
So I started searching.
I wanted to find others who took the words of Jesus seriously, who believed in both the kingdom and the cross, both love and sacrifice. That search led me to Mission Year.
Mission Year
Mission Year was a program that placed young adults in vulnerable communities to serve, not to proselytize, but to listen, learn, and love. The goal was to live among those we served, and to allow that experience to transform us. It came from a distinctly Christian perspective but without the usual trappings.
Their motto?
“Love God. Love people. Nothing else matters.”
That line drew me in.
And so, I applied.
Coffee & Theology 